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[Random the Navigator]

Ash dabbed her last few remaining tears away with a corner of her tank top.  "Well, at least that's something I can tell Rick and the others, how to know if I'm dangerous or not..." she said, grasping at the ghost of a silver lining.  "I wonder what my eyes would do if I was really happy?"

Then she settled in for the requested explanation.

"I came because even the Blessing didn't fix whatever's wrong with me...  I keep hoping my Gift is just something that'll kick in over time, but inside myself I'm not so optimistic.  I *am* set in my ways, after all, and I've really blown it with people sometimes even without the damn crystal.  And I hate it when people don't go along with me; I feel that they're questioning my competence, and I studied too hard to put up with that easily.  And I guess I've been overcompensating since I came to Pandora, because my knowledge all by itself wouldn't have gotten me here, and I've always had to prove myself...even to myself.  'Napoleon syndrome', they call it back home--when someone who doesn't amount to much swaggers around acting all full of himself.  Do you know I almost lectured Brenda?  She's twice my age and has been here a lot longer than I have or likely ever will be, and there I am telling her she'd better be up front with me...  Looking back now, I'm as shocked about that as I was about trying to shove Tiye around.  Any wonder Tiye doesn't think I know my place?

"And then I got shot with that crystal fragment.  'Iheyu's convinced that that's most of the reason for my mood swings; I'd had that thing in my body since the day Vrrtep was released, and it got its tentacles in me pretty deep...  And I think she's right about it perverting and twisting what was already there in me.  I think, in time, it might have found a way to make a tool out of me after all, and that terrified me more than anything...

"Anyway, 'Iheyu suggested I come see you about going to the Heart again to be purged of it once and for all.  I mean, yes, I've been there twice, but both times I was in my human body and I still had the shard in me.  And I was human during the Blessing, too.  So we thought maybe if I came with my Dreamwalker, my human body could rest and heal while the Heart addresses whatever's wrong in my spirit..."  Her expression turned to anguish again.  "But now it's affecting this body too...what the heck??  Just because I'm in it!  And Enya doesn't understand, Brenda doesn't understand; but I've avoided 'sharing' with Sprout precisely because I didn't want to expose her to that!  I didn't want to take the risk.  So when everyone was pressuring me to link in, it was one more thing to be defensive about, and it was more than I could stand..."

Ali'ite took the Dreamwalker's hands into her own.  "Child, a visit to the Heart of Eywa is above all an encounter of the spirit.  If such a visit could have helped you in your Being, the body you presented yourself in would not have mattered at all."

Ash looked for a moment like she'd been dealt a blow, but then she squared herself and replied.  "Actually, 'Iheyu thinks it might make a difference.  This body was born on this world and is of this world; Brenda was pretty adamant about that, and she would know--she's actually Bonded to one of the sacred Trees.  She said I shouldn't underestimate what Sprout's ancestry could do for my chances.  And 'Iheyu thinks I might not even be able to experience the full effect of the Heart in any other form but this one.  I mean, Enya's been there, and she didn't need a body at all except to come home to!  And she heard, not just my and Brenda's prayers in the Heart, but Sprout's and Tall Brenda's too."

This provoked a round of raised brows and a short, murmured exchange between several of the shamans.  Ali'ite, however, didn't look all that surprised; but then again, hers was the only Clan that included an Uniltiran-txen, a Dreamwalker-Awake, and if Enya had a soul, mustn't they all?

But her musings were interrupted by a question from Maru.  "If you wish to return to the Heart, what's stopping you?  You know where it is, you've been there twice as many times as anyone else here, and you hardly need our permission."

To everyone's surprise, Ash relaxed and smiled.  "Ahh, this was the part that got spoiled by my rant...  See, I think we've established that I haven't been able to do much of anything for either myself or Pandora on my own; so I was wondering if all of you could come too.  Maybe with all of you there, your voices all raised in a mighty chant in that place of power, your strength would become Eywa's strength, and Hers could become again the strength of the world."

"And you don't mind sharing this burden?" Ali'ite smiled a little teasingly.

"It's about damn time I did, don't you think?" Ash replied, with just a hint of her usual sass.

[Kiyevanie]

"I think it's a fight that can only be won together."  Ni'ka still felt a bit uncomfortable talking to all those Tsahiks, so her voice was quiet and a bit halting at moments.  "I...I think the Red...it doesn't understand 'together'.  The Changed ones are running in packs, true, but you're still alone.  There's no connection, no 'we', nothing.  Maybe it doesn't understand about doing things together, maybe it just thinks it's stronger alone, I don't know.  The Red doesn't explain..."  She rubbed her temples, trying to put into words something that she didn't fully understand herself, something that was only the shades of a fever dream in her memory.

Ka'hi frowned.  "Together - yes, we are strong as the People, even when our own Clans are far away now.  And when the demon got freed, we all got cut off from our world and our roots.  And without that connection we've all felt since the day we were born, we stumble on our way.  Maybe going there could be a good idea.  But I'm not sure if it's the time yet.  Not as long as our spirits are still so troubled in this way; we might do more harm than good."

[Random the Navigator]

Ash's eyes flashed--not red, just lightning--as her temper flared.  "Why, that's the most ri--"  But she caught herself and made her voice steady.  "Look, if we wait until everyone's feeling hunky-dory, it's never gonna happen.  Are our souls any more dislocated than the rest of the world?  So unless the crisis ends on its own - which it won't! - if we go there at all before it ends, we're going to show up with troubled hearts.  If you've noticed, Eywa's kind of stumbling too.  And that's the point--Enya says the 'pretty place' is the place where prayers go, but she also says it's a place for broken people.  Aren't we all broken?  So if broken people bring their prayers and their love and their pain, don't you think that's going to make a unity that even Eywa--even Vrrtep!--has to respect?  I can't think of any better way to defeat him than to stick it in his face that we know he's broken and thrashing in pain too!  And we're a lot better at this 'teamwork' thing than he is.  Like Enya reminds us almost every day: Together makes strong."

'Ohana stiffened at what sounded for all the world like a rebuke, even with Ash's marginally more polite tone of voice.  "Mind your throat, child!" she warned.  "Or do you think you understand the demon's nature better than we, who've overcome it in the past?"

But Maru lofted a brow at his colleague with a gentle smile.  "My sister, weren't you saying just before Ash came that you couldn't fathom why we were letting a Tawtute woman do our work for us, and that we could, in your own words, 'bloody well take care of this ourselves'?  She has an interesting angle on it, but she is clearly inviting us to do just that.  It can't hurt; it might help; and at least we'd be doing something."

Ali'ite looked thoughtful, her ears turning this way and that as she listened to the various lines of reasoning.  "Out of the mouths of babes..." she mused finally.

[Kiyevanie]

Ka'hi sighed and closed her eyes.  The young Tsahik wasn't completely happy with the idea.  Although she knew that the idea of going there, all of them, giving the Great Mother all their strength and encouragement the same way Eywa had given them Her Blessing, might be the drop that filled the cup in Pandora's favour, her gut feeling wasn't in it yet.  Still, she nodded to Maru's words.  "She has a point there, sister," she told 'Ohana.  "As much as I'm still doubtful myself."

Now one of the oldest Tsahiks raised her head.  Her face was already haggard, her eyes sunken in, and her formerly thick black hair had several streaks of grey and white...but still her eyes looked alert and aware.  "From the mouths of babes...true words are spoken."  She chuckled a bit.  "Some people say that when we get old we get back to being 'evi again...and seems there's truth in that too.  Because I think that this Dreamwalker-Awake child might have brought us a message we should think about - and maybe not think too long."  She chuckled again.  "It's not that I have much time left, and I'd like to see this world healing again before I send my spirit to Eywa."

Ni'ka had listened quietly during the last exchanges, mulling over the words that had been spoken; now she looked up, turning to Ali'ite.  "If this really is a place for broken people - and if my sister says so, it's true..."  She shifted slightly.  "I... I..."  She stopped, hesitating.

"You want to join us?" Ka'hi asked curiously.  The former Changed one had gained her respect by now.

Ni'ka nodded shyly.  "For so many reasons," she whispered.  "To help; to fight the Red.  But also maybe for...peace?  For purification?  This place sounds so peaceful; maybe I could learn to forgive myself there, for all the things I might have done."

[Random the Navigator]

The Tsahiks exchanged glances at Ash's and Ni'ka's proposals, their faces noncommittal.

At length Ali'ite stood up, giving Ash one last pat on the shoulder, then turned to both petitioners.  "You two have given us much to consider," she said.  "I don't think we can or should decide this right here and right now.  Perhaps while we discuss things, you two would like to visit such of your friends as still remain here?  Ash, I know a certain Sky warrior in particular has been asking about you...Andy, isn't it?  And by the look of her, I think another small meal might do 'Sprout' some good."  She smiled gently, even affectionately, so that even Ash, high-strung as she was, didn't feel like she was being dismissed.

"I'll do that, Tsahik," she said with a small bow and a smile of her own.  But even as she turned to leave, she heard Ali'ite's bemused voice saying of Enya, "I have got to meet that girl..."

-:-

[Kiyevanie]

As they walked away from the Tsahiks' meeting, Ni'ka felt a slight growl in her stomach at the mention of food - she'd better find herself something to eat too, she decided.  But apart from that...

She turned to Ash.  "I wonder if Waytelem is at Hometree?  Or Ngatapa?" she asked.  Most of the few friends she had made so far were at either the shack complex or the refugee camp, but she'd like to meet those two again, maybe even find out how the Blessing had turned out for them.  Then slight mischief made her eyes twinkle.  "And who knows?  I might pay Andy a visit too; he knows me already, after all."

[Random the Navigator]

"Are you sure about that?" Ash teased.  "I think the most he saw of you were your pointy bits...and then Waytelem showed up!"  Her eyes took in what she could see of the Commons as she reoriented herself.  "But, yes...we really should look in on him.  He was in the same ward as me; he should still be there if they haven't moved him..."

She walked towards the fighters' training-ground, knowing she could always pick up a food-wrap there by Waytelem's log bench before seeking out the healers.

[Kiyevanie]

Ni'ka grinned, showing some of her "pointy bits".  "If the next thing he saw was Waytelem, he'll probably think of me as a soft, mellow person," she teased back, glad that Ash was a bit more light-spirited now; the discussion with the Tsahiks had been deep and emotional.  "But yes, I also think we should have a look at him.  He might have started out on the wrong side of this fight, but he seemed the more open-minded of those two Sky warriors from the start.  And after being left behind by his 'friend'..."  Ni'ka hissed, not so much because she felt deep love and affection for Andy, but because for a Na'vi warrior such behaviour was just unthinkable.  "Maybe that opened his eyes even more."

They strolled towards the training grounds.  Ni'ka soon realized that, while Hometree as a whole was much more empty than before, a whole lot of the hunters and warriors had stayed behind; the place wasn't as crowded as before, but there were still a good number of young and not so young Na'vi practicing their skills with their bows, spears or in hand-to-hand combat.

"If neither Waytelem or Ngatapa are there" - Ni'ka couldn't spot either of them at first glance - "they've found someone to fill in great for them."

[Random the Navigator]

"I heard about Waytelem's little 'visit'," said Ash with a smirk.  "Rick said that once he picks up Reese's trail, the man's as good as dead...  What was Reese thinking??  Not about ditching his buddy so much; I know now that he wouldn't care about that--but just how long did he think he was going to last in the wilderness with a new body that he hasn't figured out yet?  Heck, I'm still getting the hang of this one..."  And it was true; for all that had happened, it was easy to forget that Ash had only been a driver for a few weeks, all of them spent on the run.

She didn't see either of the senior warriors either; but the cooks were attentive as always, keeping various wraps and soups warm on a flat pile of stones they'd built near the log bench after bringing them from the firepit.

[Kiyevanie]

"If you ask me, thinking wasn't exactly his stong point," Ni'ka snorted, remembering the stubborn Sky warrior.  "He was too busy being a skxawng and insulting the people who were trying to save his sorry txim.  For me he's dead already, no matter if it will be Waytelem, a group of Changed ones or a pack of viperwolves that will do it."

[Random the Navigator]

A burly fire-tender, the one to whom Atreyu had voiced his suspicions of the Dreamwalkers way back when, regarded the two women warily before deciding to approach and take the measure of things for himself.  "Oel ngati kameie, Ni'ka Taronyu," he said to the dark huntress; *she* at least had proven herself to be of some use to the Clan.

Ash sighed; apparently this was her day to be treated like part of the wall...which, come to think of it, was an improvement over the encounter that had ended with the scar on her Avatar's cheek.

[Kiyevanie]

Ni'ka turned to the approaching fire-tender now, eartips and tail slightly twitching at the appetizing scents drifting over from the fire place.  "Oel ngati kameie, tsmukan," she greeted back with a smile, happy to be recognized not as the former Changed one but as a member, a hunter of the Clan.  Of course she noticed that the man ignored Ash, but decided to let it go.  "I see that the firepit burns as bright as always," she said, complementing his work, but by now her nose was twitching too.  "Say - do you think the cooks would have two food wraps for us?  We've been talking to the Tsahiks all morning, and that's hungry business."

[Random the Navigator]

"Tsumkwe, actually," the tender corrected, indicating himself with a lopsided grin; he had always gotten a kick out of how closely his name resembled 'brother'.  "And the wraps are on that little grill over there, along with Waykando's best attempt at sweet-broth.  The cooks' Elder he might be, but he's no Kenten!"

Then he took Ni'ka aside a little ways.  "Would it be all right if we discussed some things without your friend in the audience?  I know she's supposed to be our savior and that we're all expected to eat out of her hands, but those things--those fake bodies of theirs--give me the creeps..."

Ash, unaware of what his specific objection to her presence might be, just took a wrap and seated herself on the fighters' log, letting her mind drift as she watched the warriors sparring with staves.

[Kiyevanie]

Ni'ka took a breath.  "We can talk without Ash, sure, if she makes you feel uncomfortable.  But don't think of the Dreamwalkers as 'fake bodies', ever.  Enya's a Dreamwalker too, a Dreamwalker-Awake, and there's nothing fake in her.  She's just as much one of Eywa's 'evi as you and me.  And she's my little baby sister I love as if we were actually born to the same Sa'nok."

She let out the breath again and took one of the wraps herself, smiling again.  "So - what's happened at Hometree lately?" she asked, really curious.  "The Blessing - you felt it too?"

[Random the Navigator]

Tsumkwe lofted a brow.  "Someday, maybe soon, someone is going to tell me who or what is an Enya and how on Eywa's bosom a Dreamwalker body can be 'awake' when its owner isn't using it."  He didn't sound hostile, per se; just annoyed that he'd been left out of the loop on this purported phenomenon as in so many other things.  "I've told you, the damn things give me the creeps.  If you've found one with a soul that any normal person can See, I'll be happy to keep its nook warm until its master comes for it again.  But if you mean to say that now they've started sitting up on their own and joining people for breakfast, I'd advise you to keep a *very* close eye on them; for as sure as the Skyfolk are deceivers, whoever made the new versions is just looking for a better way to get our guard down."  He took a seat, double-checking that Ash was minding her own business.  "So much for that," he said, blowing out a sigh.  "But you want to know what's been happening here..."

He gestured around the Commons.  "I don't guess I have to tell you that the Clan's in a bad way.  Your family was the first to clear out of here, Olo'eyktan's orders, and it took a while before anyone else left of their own free will...Atreyu said they were probably just waiting for someone else to be first.  But once he came back with news from the first refugee party, people started evacuating in clumps...  At the moment we're running a skeleton crew.  The warriors; the hunters; the gatherers; the cooks; the healers; the Elders; the Tsahiks and Olo'eyktans, and only enough people in each craft to keep the rest of us plus the guests fed, clothed, housed and defended.

"And why have they trickled away, you might ask?  I'll tell you: It was that damned meeting.  You know, the one where Waytelem proposed the evacuation in the first place...  It was just Ra'nah and the Elders in there, but we all heard what happened: instead of deciding it one way or the other, the Olo'eyktan left it up to each family.  Waytelem was pretty upset about the lack of leadership, and he wasn't the only one; you know Atreyu's had his misgivings, and he was attracting listeners...

"But what came out afterwards was that Ra'nah had a bit of a breakdown that night.  That he looked just as lost as everybody else, and that's why he ended up tossing up his hands and leaving it to fate and the Four Winds.  Cost him the chieftainship right there; shouldn't the whole point of having a chief be so that us plain folk don't have to sweat the big stuff?

"A lot of hurt feelings followed that no-decision, and it was the beginning of the breakup.  Oh, the arguments within families, within crafters' guilds, within hunt-parties, echoing up and down the spiral for days!  But that's what happens when you make it 'every man for himself'.  It was like storms battering a mountain, wearing away all the softer rock so that only a pillar of granite remains.  Ra'nah's just 'Ra'nah', now, a broken old man who lost it all betting on your friend.  The Elders are running things.  Waytelem's on some mission, and to the extent we have a headman at all it's because we're borrowing one from some other Clan."  He crooked a grin in spite of himself: "Oh, the Elders asked Ngatapa first, but he wouldn't have anything to do with it; said there wouldn't be enough fighting for him, and that he already has a fancy cloak!"

Then his face fell again; all bluster gone, his voice was heavy with disillusionment.  "I don't think we're a Clan anymore, Ni'ka," he said quietly.  "I think we're just seeds rattling around in a dry pod, waiting for the world or the Tawtute to shake the rest of us out and be done with us..."

[Kiyevanie]

Whatever might have been left of Ni'ka's bristling was gone after Tsumkwe was finished.  She knew that things hadn't been all shiny rainbows at Hometree in recent days, but not that the Clan seemed to be literally falling apart.  The very Clan and the Olo'eyktan that had been so ready to accept her, give her a new chance as one of the People - "Ni'ka of the Tompa'tanhi", something she was so proud of...

So the first thing she did was put a hand on Tsumkwe's shoulder.  "That's not good news," she said.  "Not about the Clan, and not about Ra'nah...  Even if making tough decisions in a situation like that might have been too much for him, he's been good to me and my heart gets heavy hearing this news."  She sighed and looked around.  "I've already noticed that this place is more empty than it has been before, even if the number of visits I had downstairs wasn't too big.  It just feels wrong without the crafting nooks being busy and 'evi running around.  And yes, I can imagine this having been a hard time for everyone - an Olo'eyktan should lead their Clan in times of sorrow like these and not leave things up to the people, fighting over what to do."  She bit her lip.  "But that's easy to say when you're not wearing his cloak...  Personally, I would have gone with Waytelem's idea, but I'm just a huntress with no more responsibility than anyone has in the Clan."  Then a faint smile crossed her face.  "I would have liked to be there when the Elders asked Ngatapa - I can almost hear him saying that!  It's going to be interesting when Waytelem comes back."  In the back of her mind she decided to look out for Ra'nah too.  He had given her so much just by accepting her into the Clan; maybe now she could give back something?  Even if it might be nothing more than affection?

"The trickling out, though - we kind of noticed that," she continued.  "A friend and I ran into Atreyu and his pongu just this morning.  They were leading another group of refugees towards the safer camp, and they said it wasn't the first group they've led there.  You know, he and I, we had our differences at first; I don't share some of his opinions.  But I'm glad that he and those families will be our neighbours for a while."  Then determination shone in her eyes.  "And it will only be for a while!  I'm not giving up on anything - we might feel sad and cut off at the moment, but we're so much more than just seeds in a pod, waiting for the world to end.  There's still fight left in us.  Haven't you felt the Great Mother touching us?  She's fighting up there against the Red, and She isn't ready to accept defeat yet.  That's what we should do too - She needs our strength and our faith!"

She took a bite from her food wrap, chewing and swallowing it.  When her mouth was empty again, the flashing in her eyes had mellowed again.  "And now let me tell you a bit about my sister...  It's true, Enya hasn't been down to the Commons very often.  At first she wasn't able to, and by the time she started mending the family was leaving already, so probably most people here haven't seen much of her.  No - she isn't a new kind, made to deceive anyone.  She's got her very own spirit, and Eywa smiled at her right from the start, protecting the flame of that spirit when it was fighting to Be.  There's not an ounce of anything bad in Enya.  Just the way she was born was a bit different from any other 'evi.  And of course her body is already fully grown - but her spirit?  It's that of a child.  A loving, fierce, playful child, and the best baby sister anyone could ask for."

[Random the Navigator]

"Ra'nah's been good to us all for a long time," Tsumkwe said quietly.  "It's only when he started mixing it up with the Dreamwalkers that we had any reason to question his wisdom.  First the one woman--Mey, wasn't it?--in and out of here all the time, picking our brains, sharing our meals, examining our possessions; she didn't want to miss a stitch of anything we did, said or used as a People.  The Olo'eyktan was besotted with the idea of our Clan being the focus of her studies.  Some people can't handle celebrity, I suppose...  So of course he threw our lives wide open for her--sent her to people who could tell her our stories, teach her our dances, and take her to our sacred places, all in the name of letting the Skyfolk know as much about us as it was possible for her to relay to them.  Well, we see how that worked out..."  He waved a dismissive hand.  "Na, she was only doing what she came here to do," he relented.  "But it never occurred to her to ask what her higher-ups wanted with the information.

"And that's the thing; that's what Atreyu was saying, and that's the problem a lot of us have with the Uniltiranyu.  They're naïve, and they're bad luck.  They always seem to show up just before or right after some disaster, and it's always the same thing: they just want to help; they just want to be our friends.  But let me tell you, ma'tsmuke: By the time the Skyfolk have noticed your Clan enough to send a Dreamwalker, you're already screwed, because they've already got plans.  They send the Dreamwalkers to soften us up so that when their eyktans move in for what they want, we'll already be in the habit of nodding and smiling and giving it to them.  The Dreamwalkers themselves might even be sincere, but they never seem to figure out that they're being used in this way.  As long as they have something to put in their 'notes', they don't give much thought to the consequences.  The only difference with your buddy over there is that she stuck around long enough to see what a mess she and her karyu made.  And our Olo'eyktan?  --Reckon he found out the hard way that leading the Clan and being too trusting with strangers are a bad combination."  His voice towards the end carried a tone of regret.

But as he listened to Ni'ka's story about Enya, he couldn't help a little half-smile.  "Mind you, I don't know what to make of that," he said good-naturedly, "but if I understand it right, it sounds like at least *one* of them got away from whatever it is the Skyfolk do to make puppets out of them.  Good to know; good to know..."

He stooped to pick up another basket of stones to warm in the nearest firepit.  As he was leaving, he turned back to the huntress and said "One thing about the emptiness here...we don't need nearly as many fires..."  Then he shrugged, settled his burden more firmly on his shoulders and walked away.

[Kiyevanie]

For a while Ni'ka just looked after Tsumkwe, musing over his words.  She slowly realized that he must have had completely different experiences with Dreamwalkers than she had.  With her Clan living too far away to be much bothered by any science expeditions or by the Sky War, Dreamwalkers had been something she had heard of at the fireplace, nothing more.  The first Dreamwalker Ni'ka had ever met had been Ash, helping the frightened Changed one to somehow sort out what had become of her.  The second one had been Enya - loving, kind-hearted, caring, spirited and playful Enya...  And the third Dreamwalker in her life had been Brenda.  To call Brenda 'naïve' was something that wouldn't have occured to the huntress in her wildest dreams.  Oh, and of course there was the one Dreamwalker she had heard of from the Lorekeepers, the one who became Toruk Makto in the end and helped kick the Tawtute out the first time.  None of those fit the bitter description Tsumkwe had just given.

But obviously things must have been different for the Tompa'tanhi Clan.  Or at least they must have seemed different to Tsumkwe and his friends.  Now, that was something Ni'ka could accept - different people had different experiences.  What made her sad was what the fire-tender had made out of it all, the air of resignation and hopelessness coming from him.  Yes, times were dire and bad, but resignation had never been an option for her.  She also wondered if maybe the Blessing hadn't given Tsumkwe at least a little bit of hope, as it had done for the people at the human camp, but she considered it too nosy and impolite to run after the man and ask.

So she just walked over to where Ash was sitting, probably musing about her own observations, and quietly finished her food wrap.

"Waytelem is out on some expedition," she told her friend, "and Tsumkwe didn't know where Ngatapa was...  Should we go find Andy now?  Or mabe find, um, Ra'nah?"

[Random the Navigator]

Ash looked up as Ni'ka settled next to her.  "The Olo'eyktan?" she asked.  "Yes, I need to see him; him above all, besides the Tsahiks.  There's a lot I need to tell him about what we've been up to; things he got the basics of from Rick, I'm sure, but something tells me that right now the Clan is more interested in the 'look and feel'.  'Ohana's dead right, Ni'ka--I've missed reporting the really important things.  How could I not mention that the lights were still on?"  Those could have been any lights, anywhere, but that was as much as she thought she could say about the Heart in a public place like this.

She dusted the crumbs of her food wrap into the palm of her hand and stood up to cast them back into the fire they came from; just another thing coming full circle.  "And besides...who the heck else can revoke that bloody oath, now that everybody and their little sister knows the secret back at the station?  And I do mean that literally," she ended with a wink and a grin.

[Kiyevanie]

Ni'ka winked back.  "Especially as it's the little sister who told the most people about it," she said, deep affection in her voice.  Then she grew serious.  "Ash...yes, we should visit Ra'nah and tell him all about it, but..."  She hesitated for a moment, but then decided that Ash needed to know before the meeting.  "He isn't Olo'eyktan anymore," she said, ears suddenly drooping for a moment.  "The fire-tender just told me about it - when he left it up to the Clan members to decide for themselves, it kind of broke the Clan apart.  Tsumkwe said it was all too much for Ra'nah."  She looked down.  "That isn't good news.  Not for the Clan and not for Ra'nah...  I owe him much for accepting me in the Clan that way."

[Random the Navigator]

If Ash had thought the rest of the morning was going to be a pleasant stroll around Hometree getting caught up with old friends, that illusion exploded into fine glass mist the moment Ni'ka gave her those grave tidings.  Wide-eyed, she put her hands to her mouth with a shaky little "Ohh...", then turned her head away so that no one could see the beginnings of tears; crying in front of the Tsahiks was one thing, and that had been hard enough, but she was not going to be weak in the Commons.

Still, she couldn't help the dismay in her voice when she said "Oh, Ni'ka...  And you remember how fiercely I defended his decision to Ngatapa and the others at the cabin at the time?  This is my fault, all of it!  If I'd only ever given the Clan enough hopeful news to run on, they might have survived this!  But no, I had nothing better to do than cop an attitude with the pongu, the healers, everybody else I've touched here...  Me and my pride!!"

[Kiyevanie]

Ni'ka shook her head.  She realized that this was much similar to what had happened in the discussion with the Tsahiks - Ash taking responsibility for things she couldn't have changed.

"No, Ash," she said.  "You couldn't bring any other news than you did; it was the right thing to give the Clan the warning, it was your task as an ally of the Tompa'tanhi.  And it should have been the Olo'eyktan's task to make a decision out of the information he had.  That you defended his words against Ngatapa and Atreyu means nothing except that you are loyal to him."  She sighed.  "And maybe that your People decide things differently than our People do."  Without hesitation this time, she included herself as one of the People; no matter what had changed her, the way a Clan was led was still deeply ingrained in Ni'ka's mind.  "In times of need we need a strong leader that decides what's best for the Clan - together with the Elders and the Tsahik, sure, but the Clan leaders are the ones who lead the way.  What happened is not your fault."  A faint smile appeared on her face.  "The People can make their own mistakes."

[Random the Navigator]

"Ni'ka, you were there when I did that; don't tell me you don't get it!" Ash fumed.  "I stood right there in front of people who do know how a Clan works and said 'What the heck else did you expect him to do??'  How can anyone think I  was more loyal to Ra'nah that night than Ngatapa was?  Or Waytelem?  I was there when he explained Ngatapa's plan to the Olo'eyktan before the meeting...  And all he got for it was Ra'nah leaving both of them high and dry.  How didn't I see that before I shot off my mouth?  Waytelem stuck his neck out on that one, got his head cut off, and I'll count myself blessed if he ever speaks to me again.  No wonder he's taken himself elsewhere!  Ohh, I hate me sometimes..."

But at Ni'ka's quip, even she had to quirk a half-smile.  "Your own mistakes, hmm?  All I've been hearing from the Na'vi is how they don't need me to 'mommy' them, that they can fight their own battles; good to know that they don't need my help *screwing up* either.  C'mon, let's go find Ra'nah..."  Her face fell again.  "Gods, what am I even going to say to him?"

[Kiyevanie]

"I don't know," Ni'ka admitted; she felt a bit helpless about that too.  "I have no idea what to say...  Guess our hearts will have to help us when we get there."

As they walked towards Ra'nah's nook, she mused over Ash's other words.  "I don't think one of you was more loyal than the other that day," she finally said, but her voice didn't sound very sure; more as if she was trying to make her way through it herself.  "Waytelem and Ngatapa tried to help him make a decision, and you tried to understand and explain the decision he did make."

[Random the Navigator]

"I shot off my mouth about things I didn't understand and that weren't my business," Ash replied bitterly.  "Same as I have about childrearing and freezing plants and a lot of other things.  I've never taken the time to learn what works for these people.  No, I've just bludgeoned them over the head with what works for human beings.  That goes for leadership, too.  On our world, we fancy ourselves to be above all that; we say things like 'That government is best which governs least.'  We don't like being told what to do; we'd rather decide that for ourselves.  So the idea of anybody taking orders from commanders or kings goes against our grain, and people like Rick who submit themselves to that are considered a little weird and maybe defective.  How many traditional societies have we ruined with those ideas?  When's the last time my People looked up to someone, respected someone, enough to seek their guidance?  I've been studying other cultures all my life, but I've never taken the trouble to imagine what it was like to be them.  Me and this world are gonna pay and pay and pay for that..."  She shook her head.  "No wonder Atreyu's party hates me.  They Saw what a disaster this was going to be, and I just blew them off..."